descriptive writing mark

This week we had to write a descriptive text using an image as a prompt.My mark was 3A.I am really pleased with my mark. Next time , I will improve my punctuation's and making my story more descriptive to get a even better mark.

Here is what i wrote:
On a freezing winter day me and my friend decided to go see an ice mountain.We look at it and people were standing there looking like they want to hurt us. There were heaps of people everywhere.We had no choice to either die or climb the ice mountain. We didn't want to die so we just climbed the frosty ice mountain!As we climb we get stuck on a piece of frozen ice. The ice mountain started to seperate. We got frightened. We were so scared.We reached out for each other. The ice mountain just kept going further out. It was freezing cold.We were shivering so bad we got goose bumps.

Me and my friend almost fell off. So we stretched as far as we can. We both looked down.We saw that the people were gone.Suddenly ice started to fall off.We got horrified.We were worried we were going to fall off.I finally came up with a planI told my friend lets go down the way we came up.She didnt agree on it.It started to rain heavilywith drops of painful hail.The ice mountain started to chang color.
It was getting darker.We had little tear drops dropping from our eyes.

We had no chance at all to take my plan or to stay up there and freeze to death on a frosty mountain.BOOM!She asked what was that humongous sound.The frosty mountain was falling into little tiny pieces.We were terrified and a accident happened as the mountain was cracking.We slipped off and banged our heads.We got found by people.We were all confused.We were in a hospital.The hospital was nice,warm and comfortable.A few days later in the hospital we got all better and got told to never go to a freezing cold frosty place again.We heard the sound of lightning,Thunder and frosty ice falling onto the ground.Lucky we're not still up the mountain we will be dead already!